What Is It That You Thought I Meant?

[arontius]

.....At work it is standard policy when planning for work to ask questions and get feedback in order to ensure that what you said and meant were interpreted as such by the recipient. One usually does this by asking the recipient to tell you what they thought you told them to do, step by step. It is sometimes surprising to find out how different what they thought you said was in comparison to what it is you wanted them to do. So the next step is to try a different explanation in order to get the correct understanding across.

.....This method is rather comprehensive and nets good results in most cases. But it is so formal and rather 'professional'. When I leave Michael at work and put on the mantle of Aaron at home, this policy goes out the window. Hey, I hang out with friends at home, right? They either understand me as much as they need to understand me, or they understand how to ask me the right questions in order to gain understanding in case they are puzzled about something I said, right? Time is so fleeting, why spend all that extra time in asking and counter-asking questions in order to gain proper understanding?

.....Well, life is filled with many different types of friends. Some seem to read your mind and understand every thing you think and say, before you even say it. And others? Well, they understand only Latin and you are speaking in American Sign Language. If the conversation is important enough? Yeah, it could be a good thing to utilize the interactive and questioning approach. Even at home. O.K., Lesson Learned. Friends are hard enough to gain and keep as it is, so that extra effort is worth it.

.....And those friends who seem to understand you before you even say anything? The ones who laugh at you and with you? Forgive your misdeeds without lasting consequences? Are there when you need them? Go away when you want to be alone? Actually talk to you when they have an issue with you? Remember the fact that you are friends even if they don't particularly LIKE you at the moment? Well, those friends are amazingly special and need to be cherished. Go and tell them how much you appreciate them.

.....Do it! Do it now! :-)

.....Aaron / Arontius.

Comments

[copper-oxide.livejournal.com]

Some of that understanding may be because of the intelligences they were born with. Called "Interpersonal Intelligence", from Howard Gardner's "Multiple Intelligence" Theory.

Of course, if there is interest, Interpersonal Intelligence can be learned the way us non-math people can still work hard enough to understand basic math.