Oct. 1st, 2010

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.....The alarm went off this morning at 4AM as usual and I woke up, and then remembered that I had the day off. But when I tried to go back to sleep, I found that the brain would not shut back off and was already running in five different directions. :-)

.....What I think I long for at the moment to some degree is something I did almost ten years ago now. I spent a week out in the desert, camping. I started out with a small group of others, and then spent three days on my own. It was a rather amazing experience. No cell phone, no radio, no computers. Not even a book. The object was to have no distractions and basically find yourself.

.....That first day was interesting in that I couldn't shut my mind down at all. I was running, running, running. Thinking about things I needed to do at work and at home. Thinking about the SCA. Thinking about friends and people I had met. Just thousands and thousands of thoughts, many of them at the same time.

.....By the second day I was bored, incredibly bored. But something was definitely happening. The jumble of thoughts was subsiding. Instead of thousands I was starting to find myself concentrating on a handful or so of them and actually thinking them through more than usual. I found myself concentrating to a deeper level than the normal surface level awareness that one usually gives to life.

.....On the third day it was very interesting. The buzz of background 'conversation' in my head was almost gone. I found myself staring at things and thinking about them to a great depth. With nothing else to think about I thought about how the wind moved and how different it felt when it came out of the canyon versus when it came off of the valley floor. It had a different sound to it as well. I spent several hours just contemplating the difference.

.....It was a rather amazing experience actually. I haven't practiced re-attaining that level of awareness, which is something of a pity as I could really use it about now. There is so much to think about and organize in the next month or so. I would really like to take things one at a time and concentrate on it a while to that level of awareness I had in the desert and write the path forward.

.....But I don't think that is going to happen. :-) We have jumped off that platform and will have to trust in that bungee to bring us up before we hit the ground. :-)

.....The biggest thing right now is to get texts written in time for Crown Council. The framework has started, just need to flesh it out. I think people are surprised when they find out that Anglo-Saxon and Norse are really almost one-in-the-same in much of their look and feel. :-) The words of the ceremony are going to look very similar to what has been seen in Their Excellencies Courts for a while now. :-) I think the only real difference will be in the garb. But that will make things easier in the transition, at least I think. It would be incredibly jarring to go from a 'Norse' theme to an 'Elizabethan' theme in the same setting. In fact, so jarring that it would be hard for anyone to 'suspend their disbelief'.

.....But the ideas are finally starting to percolate in my mind. I now just have to get them on paper. I'm hoping to get a little time to do that this weekend. We'll be at Pacific Beach, at the park their in Lobelia. It's a great setting for inspiration. I'm hoping that after a walk on the beach, and a communion with the ocean, will produce something memorable. We'll see.

.....Then next weekend comes Disneyland. :-) My last visit there was in 1976. They hadn't even broken ground yet on Space Mountain. I'm looking forward to seeing what has changed there in the past thirty plus years.

.....The succession is a process of step - step - step. It really is a dance where rules are followed. But the surprises have been interesting. I thought that being as closely tied as I had been to Their Excellencies Cedric and Brighid I would have been a lot better prepared to deal with politics and the agendas of those around us. I'm finding it interesting that when a curve is thrown at me my first instinct is to go and 'fix it' when in reality I need to take a step back and look at what I'm trying to fix and whether I should or not. There are problems and agendas owned by others that shouldn't even be touched by me, much less 'fixed'. Even if asked. I can tell that may be the hardest lesson to learn.

.....Some things I just take way too personally. There are too many things to get done, and too many fun things to do, to go in that direction. Must learn to take the correct path now. :-)

.....Time to go and get laundry going.

.....Aaron / Arontius.

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