Relevance.

[arontius]

.....Speaking strictly SCA and putting modern life and concerns to the side, my life has really been in transition lately. I moved from a Kingdom office to a Baronial. I have no large events on my plate. I have no major Projects in planning. Things are in limbo for a short time. I realize that this time period will indeed be short, but a couple of interesting things (at least in my consideration) have come out of it.

.....Marquessa Laurellen has done several very good writings on the subject of relevance in Society. When you 'go away' for a while and level of participation drops, life moves on without your presence. New people come in with their own ideas, goals and ambitions. The focus of the Society as a whole changes. When you decide that you want to come back and start playing again, things have changed and so your attitude and the way you approach the Society has to change as well. This is where many people sometimes struggle reintegrating themselves back into the Society. Just because they were hot stuff just a short time ago doesn't necessarily mean that their opinions, ideas, etc. are going to be looked at with any enthusiasm just because it was them presenting it.

.....Marquessa Laurellen bundles this concept under the term 'relevance', but I think that it is even simpler than that. I think that it is the basic human need to feel 'wanted'. To feel that they matter and have a place in 'Society'. Where this need takes people isn't always rational of course, but that need is still present.

.....So, looking into my own mirror here. I'm looking at my current SCA 'career' and I'm thinking on this concept and angsting over what to do about it. I really don't want to end up a bitter old peer who dreams of the 'good old days' and talks incessantly about them. I know old peers who do that and I can see the glazed eye expression of the people who get cornered by them.

.....At the same time you want to slow down a little bit and avoid burn out. If you continuously go and go and go for years, eventually your body and or mind and or sanity give up on you and you become a bitter and broken old peer. There are plenty of this category out there as well.

.....Then there is the consideration of allowing the next generation of Society members the opportunities that you had to try on new and interesting things and learn from them (and maybe actually make them even better than you did). After all, they'll be the ones furthering the cause of the 'dream' of the SCA.

.....But even after all of that there is still that part of you that wants someone to come up to you and say, 'Hey, you did a great job doing XXX!' or that satisfaction one gets for having done something HUGE and seeing it come together smartly and successfully. Is it really selfish to want that sort of validation? Even for a peer?

.....I'm not necessarily looking for answers. Maybe the next 'Holy Grail' :-). But this might be something that each person has to answer individually. I was pondering it at Last Chance this last weekend because I didn't have a 'job' per se there. I helped out with a few things. But, really, there were plenty of people to do everything and my help wasn't really needed. And, yes, I could have made myself useful and DONE something constructive, but I hadn't made any arrangements for that beforehand like I would normally so I felt a little odd for not having something scheduled to do at the event. It was just an odd feeling.

.....Thankfully for me, the Beloved Tamm made things all O.K. again on Sunday when she called me up and told me to come home for lunch. I felt wanted again. :-)

.....Just some rambling thoughts for a Monday morning. :-) Wish I had more time to explain myself as it probably looks like a bunch of whining more than anything (which is is not meant to be). But gotta go, time to rev up the work machine. :-)

.....Aaron / Arontius.