(no subject)

[arontius]

.....Had an interesting wake up call late last week on what it was to be a peer. And let me preface this by saying that I'm not whining or complaining in any way, just musing more than anything.

.....We've all heard that as a peer, the words you speak carry more weight than you may realize. Whenever I have heard that in the past, I heard the words, but did never really buy into the reality of that statement. Why would someone pay more attention to MY words than anyone else's? I know plenty of non-peers who are smarter and more accomplished than myself. This is not false modesty, it is simple truth. I've worked hard, that's true. But I'm still a simple human being, no better nor worse than any one of my brethren here in Dragon's Laire.

.....So, imagine my surprise last week when I was cornered by several people who wanted to talk about how relative newcomers in the Barony were being treated by the peers. I won't go into any particulars involving anyone else, but I can say that I was included in this. It seems that my particular sin is that I when I do things, especially at a Kingdom level (e.g. Kingdom events), I normally turn to friends first for help rather than involving relative newcomers or people I do not know as well.

.....I guess that in retrospect when I need to get something done in support of an event, I naturally turn to someone whom I know and whom I know can do the job without a second thought. This is especially true in instances where I think I need to solve an issue fast so that I can move on to something else. Is that fair? Maybe not. I suppose that in the future I will do my best to give more thought to whom I select to 'get the job done' so to speak.

.....Other people who are not yet peers have run Kingdom events under the banner of Dragon's Laire and have utilized a number of people from outside the Barony or have relied on personal friends and people they know well. I don't remember hearing them being criticized for their criteria.

.....Bear in mind that I'm using this as an example for the moment. Other peers are getting dinged for other transgressions. Maybe those transgressions were warranted? It doesn't matter so much whether they were or not as much as it seems to matter that they were peers and doing these things. Peers being held to a higher standard than other people would be in the same situation.

.....However, peers are human beings as well as I mentioned earlier. Is it really fair to hold them to this higher standard? Probably. They pretty much pledged to do that when they swore their oath of fealty. But it is still a learning process. There is no training session for 'how to be a peer'. You pretty much learn by trial and error sometimes.

.....In this instance where we're being smacked for not performing to a 'higher standard', the easy out would be to basically not say or do anything that would be bring attention to yourself or would invite negative comments. This is one of the reasons I think thatin places like Madrone a lot of the peers have really relegated themselves to the background or have stopped playing all together. Being under the microscope of the populace and being dinged for anything that is perceived as 'unpeerlike' can be quite unnerving after a very short period of time.

.....But I don't think that we should or can do that here in Dragon's Laire. We are a very active branch and have a very large relatively younger population who could really utilize the experience and background that the peers have to offer. It would be a bad thing if the peers were to fade to the background or decide that playing on the Baronial level was just full of too much headache or heartache.

.....So what is the answer? I suppose the obvious is 'suck it up'. When I took an oath of fealty to become a peer I knew it wasn't just a membership to a social club, I essentially volunteered to take on a new and busy roll. Something that requires some work and effort to accomplish.

.....Another part of the answer is to become a lot more aware of what I do and say. Part of the issue is that I've been playing this game here in Dragon's Laire for something like twenty years. I do and say things without even thinking about it because they are the things I've been doing and saying for twenty years. Relative newcomers don't intuitively understand and may even MISunderstand what I do and say. And if I'm not paying attention to it at all, I could really do or say something that could seriously alienate someone who has just started playing.

.....I suppose that the last thing to consider is that in this game that we play, the peerages are supposed to be the examples of how the game is played as a whole. Peers are supposedly the examples of how to behave and the points of contact for all information. They are supposed to be worthy of respect at all times and are supposed to be approachable for all things. Ego should not be a part of that equation, although it could be a temptation, especially if you are the 'go to' person and find yourself surrounded by people asking you to solve their problems or give them advice.

.....Being a peer can be rather fulfilling, but it really should be considered a burden as well, if done correctly. And if you aren't willing to shoulder that burden, carrying the title is not exactly fair to those who ARE shouldering that burden.

.....Just musing out loud. If the Beloved Tamm had written this, it would have sounded better. But I do mybest.

.....Time for bed. Only three days of work this week. Huzzah. :-)

.....Aaron / Arontius.

Comments

[gwen-the-potter.livejournal.com]

I am feeling for you, since I have been one of those caught in the trap. I will be very cautious of what I say to anyone from this point on. I don't think it's right, and I don't know if I can change it. I do have some ideas, on opening up communication, but that's for another forum. But, unfortunately, the experience will definitely affect my ability to give opinion, or advice, to anyone. This is one of those parts of being a peer that sucks. It certainly has been a shock to me. It's taken almost three (four?) years for this to hit.

[dame-eleanor.livejournal.com]

"how relative newcomers in the Barony were being treated by the peers."

..."the peers"?? That pretty much implies all of us... This is fairly disturbing news. Would you mind addressing this in a more private forum such as the Peerpages or DL Laurels group?

If "we" as a group, or members of our group have offended, how can we rectify, unless we understand how it is that we are perceived to have offended? Knowing the Laurels here as I do, I can not imagine that any of them meant any offense whatever.

The Peers List.

[arontius]

I was going to address this to the peers list last night, but wanted to get my thoughts in order first. You'll see something from me tonight after work, and probably something from others over the course of the day.

Arontius.

[skaldic.livejournal.com]

As a non-peer, I can see that it would often be a fine line to walk. And frankly, a lot of people are going to judge peers by a different set of standards than non-peers (sometimes by lower standards, sometimes higher).

But honestly, the idea of pushing you to use more newcomers when you run an event isn't terribly valid. Sure, as a peer (or as a non-peer), it's always good to help involve newcomers when possible. But peer or not, when you are running an event, your obligation is to the event, and through that event, to the Barony. Your duty is to do what will work best for the event, otherwise, the event suffers, and by extension, so does the barony. Whether someone is a newcomer or an old hand should be irrelevant in staffing an event -- you need to pick the people who can not only do the job, but that you know you can trust to do it. Volunteering for a position isn't a sufficient qualification by itself. If you don't operate on that level, you aren't doing a good job as an autocrat. They may be the most talented organizer in the world, but if you don't know that -- and often, if you haven't had the experience of seeing them in action -- you shouldn't be placing an important aspect of your event in their hands.

All too often in the SCA (and I'm guilty of this myself), people somehow expect organizers to instinctively know they can handle certain tasks that they haven't demonstrated before. Sure, maybe they can handle it (probably, in most cases), but you have to KNOW. Otherwise, the event may get stuck in the lurch. And that's obviously a bad thing...

What may be also happening here (and you've probably thought of this yourself) is that a lot of newcomers (and again, I was guilty of this when starting out) expect you to get them involved, rather than being responsible for getting themselves involved. You're a peer, and active in the Barony, and running things, and oh, you're a PEER, so you obviously should be getting them involved. Regardless of whether they've tried to get themselves involved. I think this tends to get treated as a problem and blamed on the people running events and getting things done (and peers, because they're visible), when it really isn't an institutional problem, it's a personal issue on the part of some newcomers.

Expectations of newcomers

[manyra.livejournal.com]

This recently came up in a conversation I had with a friend here. He looked back at when he first joined when there was no internet and very few handbooks on how to do things. He said he can't remember anyone whining about not finding out how to do things or having anyone help them out. They just went ahead and did it - he has the ugly helms to prove it. And he was ok with the ugly helm as long as it got him out there and fighting.

I don't know when it's changed but I see some newcomers with higher expectations of getting involved. They won't volunteer until they know exactly what to do or fight until they have the perfect kit. Now I understand for some it's shyness but for others it may be some fault on how we introduce people to the game.

Re: Expectations of newcomers

[freewaydiva.livejournal.com]

I suspect that there's a bit of the rampant sense of entitlement that certain generations have, as well. I'd elaborate, but it would make me sound old and bitter. ;)

Re: Expectations of newcomers

[hrollaug.livejournal.com]

Trust me, you aren't old and bitter... I could point you at a couple Peers that are, but that's another story.

But I try to keep things like the idea that the current generation acts in some ways different then the older by remembering the dump/stupid/entitled way we acted when we were less mature then we are today

TTFN (1 year, 1 month from being eligible to retire, not that I'm counting or anything)

Re: Expectations of newcomers

[manyra.livejournal.com]

And I've seen the attitude I described above in people older than me as well. It's not just reserved for the young.

Re: The Peers List.

[manyra.livejournal.com]

This is one of the hardest things about becoming a peer I've had to deal with. I cannot censor myself very well. Nor can I deal with the idea of someone taking my words or actions with more weight simply because I am a peer. Being a fairly confident person (some would say over confident :p) I had trouble understanding people who trusted my opinion more than their own.

On the other hand, my elevation came at a very cynical phase in my life, having lost some of the empathy I had when I was younger. (I blame my boyfriend whose natural default setting is cynic). Realizing that I'm now being held to a higher standard has gone a long way to bring back some of that empathy. Still, I will never be a very diplomatic person :-)

Peerage and the Board

[imdonnan.livejournal.com]

A very interesting topic for sure.

Several times while I was on the Board where we were discussing sanctions we talked about if someone should be held to a higher standard. It was considered, based on the ceremony of the Kingdom, that people were held to a higher standard.

Also if someone was a royal peer the bar was raised even higher.

It was amazing to me to read in countless investigations where people threw common sense out the window because a royal peer told them to do something. Even in sexual harassment issues people are less likely to come forward and / or call the police if the person doing the harassing is a peer or royal peer.

I would say, yes you are held to a higher standard. Be careful what you say, how you say it and where. As a peer your words have weight. People may not take your advice but man oh man they will beat you up if you don't behave like a peer in their view of the 'dream'.

Also I would offer that you are not a peer of this or that Kingdom. You are a peer of the SCA. Yes, you are in fealty to one Kingdom or another but you are a peer of the SCA. Meaning to me that you are held to a higher level in all 19 Kingdoms, all at the same time. So you can't act like the south end of a north bound horse in a Kingdom that you are not in fealty with and get a way with it.

Finally, a peer, is a peer, is a peer. Laurels, Pells and Knights - all the same. In my book you first are a peer then because you do A&S you are a Laurel, or service you are a Pell, or fight you are a Knight. Being a peer first is the bid into the game. If someone can't make the first hurdle then there is no need to say that they can finish the race.