arontius | (no subject)

.....Had an interesting wake up call late last week on what it was to be a peer. And let me preface this by saying that I'm not whining or complaining in any way, just musing more than anything.

.....We've all heard that as a peer, the words you speak carry more weight than you may realize. Whenever I have heard that in the past, I heard the words, but did never really buy into the reality of that statement. Why would someone pay more attention to MY words than anyone else's? I know plenty of non-peers who are smarter and more accomplished than myself. This is not false modesty, it is simple truth. I've worked hard, that's true. But I'm still a simple human being, no better nor worse than any one of my brethren here in Dragon's Laire.

.....So, imagine my surprise last week when I was cornered by several people who wanted to talk about how relative newcomers in the Barony were being treated by the peers. I won't go into any particulars involving anyone else, but I can say that I was included in this. It seems that my particular sin is that I when I do things, especially at a Kingdom level (e.g. Kingdom events), I normally turn to friends first for help rather than involving relative newcomers or people I do not know as well.

.....I guess that in retrospect when I need to get something done in support of an event, I naturally turn to someone whom I know and whom I know can do the job without a second thought. This is especially true in instances where I think I need to solve an issue fast so that I can move on to something else. Is that fair? Maybe not. I suppose that in the future I will do my best to give more thought to whom I select to 'get the job done' so to speak.

.....Other people who are not yet peers have run Kingdom events under the banner of Dragon's Laire and have utilized a number of people from outside the Barony or have relied on personal friends and people they know well. I don't remember hearing them being criticized for their criteria.

.....Bear in mind that I'm using this as an example for the moment. Other peers are getting dinged for other transgressions. Maybe those transgressions were warranted? It doesn't matter so much whether they were or not as much as it seems to matter that they were peers and doing these things. Peers being held to a higher standard than other people would be in the same situation.

.....However, peers are human beings as well as I mentioned earlier. Is it really fair to hold them to this higher standard? Probably. They pretty much pledged to do that when they swore their oath of fealty. But it is still a learning process. There is no training session for 'how to be a peer'. You pretty much learn by trial and error sometimes.

.....In this instance where we're being smacked for not performing to a 'higher standard', the easy out would be to basically not say or do anything that would be bring attention to yourself or would invite negative comments. This is one of the reasons I think thatin places like Madrone a lot of the peers have really relegated themselves to the background or have stopped playing all together. Being under the microscope of the populace and being dinged for anything that is perceived as 'unpeerlike' can be quite unnerving after a very short period of time.

.....But I don't think that we should or can do that here in Dragon's Laire. We are a very active branch and have a very large relatively younger population who could really utilize the experience and background that the peers have to offer. It would be a bad thing if the peers were to fade to the background or decide that playing on the Baronial level was just full of too much headache or heartache.

.....So what is the answer? I suppose the obvious is 'suck it up'. When I took an oath of fealty to become a peer I knew it wasn't just a membership to a social club, I essentially volunteered to take on a new and busy roll. Something that requires some work and effort to accomplish.

.....Another part of the answer is to become a lot more aware of what I do and say. Part of the issue is that I've been playing this game here in Dragon's Laire for something like twenty years. I do and say things without even thinking about it because they are the things I've been doing and saying for twenty years. Relative newcomers don't intuitively understand and may even MISunderstand what I do and say. And if I'm not paying attention to it at all, I could really do or say something that could seriously alienate someone who has just started playing.

.....I suppose that the last thing to consider is that in this game that we play, the peerages are supposed to be the examples of how the game is played as a whole. Peers are supposedly the examples of how to behave and the points of contact for all information. They are supposed to be worthy of respect at all times and are supposed to be approachable for all things. Ego should not be a part of that equation, although it could be a temptation, especially if you are the 'go to' person and find yourself surrounded by people asking you to solve their problems or give them advice.

.....Being a peer can be rather fulfilling, but it really should be considered a burden as well, if done correctly. And if you aren't willing to shoulder that burden, carrying the title is not exactly fair to those who ARE shouldering that burden.

.....Just musing out loud. If the Beloved Tamm had written this, it would have sounded better. But I do mybest.

.....Time for bed. Only three days of work this week. Huzzah. :-)

.....Aaron / Arontius.

(no subject)

Re: Expectations of newcomers